oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.