is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
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Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
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When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.