you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
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laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
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He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila