I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
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he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
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You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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