So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
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My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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