Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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