I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!