ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
don't judge my taste in strippers
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots