bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
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i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
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They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend