Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I need moral support for this bender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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