You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
