My hair reeks of homosexuality.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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