I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize