I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize