If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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