This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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