brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
