I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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