ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
how does that bad decision feel?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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