He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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