My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
