Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
