They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
