i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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