If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's great music for shaving your balls
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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