Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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