she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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