Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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