I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
