I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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