So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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