Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize