i will soon be in a relationship on fb
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarcasm needs its own font
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.