i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
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vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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