So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
