We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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