i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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