the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
