We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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