she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize