Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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