In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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