Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
