I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
