She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So many bounce houses so little time
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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