I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
