hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Randomize
