your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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