dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize
