so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
