You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
