bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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