My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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