he was CRYING into my vagina
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
