Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Boobs speak an international language.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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