i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
