dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize