I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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