is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
